"That Will Be $18"

When you move to a new town, especially a small town, the best place to get information of the local area is at the barbershop. Such is the case where I now live. Barbers are on top of everything happening in town. Just think about it, they have customers coming in from all over town dumping all their problems on him, proudly bragging about all their achievements, and filling him in on all the local current events.

As I was getting my hair cut the other day I asked the barber how was the local ball teams in the area. He assumed I was asking about the local basketball teams but I was really asking about the local softball and baseball teams. It turns out the local basketball teams are pretty good around here and he gave me a complete rundown on the season and how they were doing in the state tournament. I didn't want to interrupt him as he sounded as though he was pretty excited about the team so I let him ramble on and I pretended to be interested. When I thought he was done I let there be a little air in the conversation so he wouldn't think he miss understood me and be embarrassed. Then I asked him about the local "baseball" and "softball" teams.

He soon finished cutting my hair, which doesn't take long these days, and said "That will be $9." Nine dollars? That is a bargain compared to where I just moved from. I gladly paid him the $9 and kicked in another $2 for his retirement fund.

Now for those of you that don't know, I moved to Wisconsin after living in the DC area for 9 months. For the most part the cost of goods and services are about the same in both places other than housing and apparently hair cuts.

When I lived in Arlington I used to go up to the local mall (the great thing about Arlington is there is always a local mall if not two) and get my hair cut at a place called The Barbershop, appropriately named. The Barbershop is designed to look like an old time barbershop with a contemporary flair. It has the barber poles and wood floors when you walk in. It also has a "u" shaped bar in the middle that mimics something out of the local tavern which you can belly up to as you wait for your haircut. And up on the wall is a large flat screen high definition TV with some type of sporting event always playing. When it is your turn to get your haircut they just yell "NEXT!"

When my turn came to get my hair cut it was a short Korean/American women who yelled "NEXT." Unfortunately for me she spoke broken English and for me that can be hard to understand.

K/A Women: "Have Seat. You take glasses off."

K/A Women: "You want hair cut today?"

Me: "Ah, yeah."

K/A Women: "How you want hair cut?"

Me: "3-1/2 on top and 1-1/2 on the sides."

K/A Women: "You sure you want hair cut that short?"

Me: "Yeah."

K/A Women: "You sure? That short."

Me: "Don't worry if it is to short I am sure it will grow back."

She started. Her hands were a blur. Snip, snip, cut cut. Done in under 5 minutes. And she did a damn fine job.

I followed her up to the cash register with that feeling you only can get after a fresh hair cut, breeze flowing through the hair left on my head, it always feels so cool and refreshing. (No smart ass remarks here ok.) She punches a few numbers on the cash register and says "$18 please."

Me: "$18? My hair isn't worth $18."

K/A Women: "$18."

Me: "I should only get charged 1/2 of the regular rate since I have half the hair as most people."

K/A Women: "$18."

Me: "Look at the guy over there. He has a full head of hair, getting it 'styled', it takes over 15 minutes to cut his hair and he will be charged $18."

K/A Women: "$18."

Me: "Ok, ok here is my debit card."

K/A Women: "How much?"

Me: "Huh?"

K/A Women: "How much?"

Oh, I get it, you want a tip. Silly me. You want to charge me $18 for a hair cut and you expect a tip too? Yeah, ok.

Me: "Ok, give yourself $3 for a total of $21."

K/A Women: "Sign." "Thank you, have good day."

Me: "Yeah, right."

As I was walking out of there I am not sure which lost more weight my head or my wallet.